Saturday, March 07, 2009
In case you didn't know I was strange...
I'm getting a new phone (touchscreen PDA, be jealous) on Monday and was reading the user guide and realized how amusing the safety precautions would be if one were to replace "phone" and "battery" with "baby" and "diaper". Also I discovered the second page of precautions and have replaced "memory card" with "brain". Here is the result:
Safety Information
Read these simple guidelines. Breaking the rules may be dangerous or illegal. Further detailed information is given in this user guide.
- Never use an unapproved diaper since this could damage the baby and/or diaper and could cause the diaper to explode.
- Never place your baby in a microwave oven as it will cause the diaper to explode.
- Do not dispose of the diaper by fire or with hazardous or flammable materials.
- Make sure that no sharp-edged items come into contact with the diaper. There is a risk of this causing a fire.
- Store the diaper in a place out of reach of children.
- Be careful that children do not swallow any parts such as rubber plugs (ears, connection parts of the baby, etc.). This could cause asphyxiation or suffocation.
- Unplug the power cord and charger during lightning storms to avoid electric shock or fire.
- When riding in a car, do not leave your baby or set up the hands-free kit near to the air bag. If wireless equipment is improperly installed and the air bag is activated, you may be seriously injured.
- Do not use a hand-held baby while driving.
- Do not use the baby in areas where its use is prohibited. (For example: aircraft).
- Do not expose the diaper charger or adapter to direct sunlight or use it in places with high humidity, such as a bathroom.
- Never store your baby in temperatures less than- 4°F or greater than 122°F.
- Do not use harsh chemicals(such as alcohol, benzene, thinners, etc.) or detergents to clean your baby. There is a risk of this causing a fire.
- Do not drop, strike, or shake your baby severely. Such actions may harm the internal circuit boards of the baby.
- Do not use your baby in high explosive areas as the baby may generate sparks.
- Do not damage the power cord by bending, twisting, pulling, or heating. Do not use the plug if it is loose as it may cause a fire or electric shock.
- Do not place any heavy items on the power cord. Do not allow the power cord to be crimped as it may cause fire or electric shock.
- Do not handle the baby with wet hands while it is being charged. It may cause an electric shock or seriously damage your baby.
- Do not disassemble the baby.
- Do not place or answer calls while charging the baby as it may short-circuit the baby and/or cause electric shock or fire.
- Only use the diapers, antennas, and chargers provided by LG. The warranty will not be applied to products provided by other suppliers.
- Only authorized personnel should service the baby and its accessories. Faulty installation or service may result in accidents and consequently invalidate the warranty.
- Do not hold or let the antenna come in contact with your body during a call.
- An emergency call can be made only within a service area. For an emergency call, make sure that you are within a service area and that the baby is turned on.
- Use accessories, such as earbabys and headsets, with caution. Ensure that cables are tucked away safely and do not touch the antenna unnecessarily.
Brain information and care
- If the damage cannot be fixed, format the brain.
- The brain cannot be used for recording copyright- protected data.
- Do not write forcefully on the memo area.
- Carry and store the brain in its case.
- Do not allow the brain to get wet.
- Do not leave the brain in extremely hot location.
- Do not disassemble or modify the brain.
Klasinc&Loncar Duo (Just trying to help it get picked up by Google spiders, I maintain it for them)